Home.

“Home is where the heart is.” 

“Home is where you make it.”

“You can always go home.” 

“There’s no place like home.”

When it comes to quotes about ‘home’, I can hear them over and over again and they still ring true. After certain life events, I have come to accept that as much as I want home to be a backyard or a front porch that I’ve played on my entire life, that isn’t the case for me. My children will never visit their grandparents where I once grew up or play where I played. I envy people who grew up in one house their entire lives and will continue to take their children back there to relive memories, but I don’t have that, and in return that has made me appreciate seeing home in different forms.  

When I think of home, I first think of my brothers. They are my constant in life; the stability in my childhood memories; however, if I had to choose now, then home would be wherever my husband is. Isn’t it amazing that when it comes down to it, we stake our feelings of home in other people, not places and things?  

It’s memories and feelings that make us feel home. Certain smells and tastes take us back to being home and songs and movies will put us there too. Like my mom’s sweet potato casserole at Thanksgiving or watching the original Grinch on Christmas Eve. There are a million tiny instances that culminate our vision of home. Wherever we have a feeling of upmost content and happiness, feelings of safety and joy—that’s home. The physical place where we happen to feel these emotions is where we label it, and for me, that place is Tennessee. 

Tennessee is not where I was born. I was born in Kentucky and moved to southern Indiana before I was a year old. I lived in Indiana until I was about 9 years old and from there, moved to Tennessee. Tennessee is where I grew close to my brothers. Where our sibling relationships turned into the best of friendships. It’s where I met some girls that became my sisters and will be my forever friends. Tennessee is where God provided me with the love of my life in the form of a high-school sweetheart. I found God in Tennessee, lost Him for a short time, and then found Him again. It’s where my faith was created and developed and where I realized a church could be a home too. It’s where I hope to raise my children and where I hope my family will reunite for good. Tennessee is where the strongest of my relationships were formed and where every time I come back, I feel whole again. If that’s not home, I don’t know what is. 

What I’ve learned is, if you want to find where you call home, then move somewhere else. It wasn’t until I left Tennessee that I fully realized its significance in my life. So I guess that whole “you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone” quote rings true for me too. Moving has taught me to value home, but to also welcome new experiences. Appreciate what you have and where you came from, but strive for something more. Plant pieces of your heart everywhere you go instead of wishing you were somewhere different, somewhere more like home. 

Dorothy had it right, there really is no place like home, and just like her, I’ll find my way back there some day. But for now my husband, the pups, and our couch is the best home I could ever ask for. After all, home IS where you make it. 

Marriage according to Mindy.

I recently finished Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, and I was obsessed with every word. The girl is hilarious.  Besides being funny, she definitely pulled at some heart strings too. There is a chapter in her book where she references marriage and there were two paragraphs in particular that I just started crying as soon as I read them (I’m ridiculously emotional like that). The first was: 

“I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of the Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it’s possible, and because I want it for myself.” 

I mean, come on. Here’s a girl straight up saying that she wants what I have. That statement alone should make me want to stop complaining about my marriage and remember that life should be happy every day because I’m able to spend it with my best friend. Now I’m not someone who bitches about being married necessarily, but we all have those moments where we irritate the crap out of each other…him breathing too loudly, me slurping my cereal… 

Reading those words reminds me that at some point you and this one other person decided that each other was all either of you wanted. If it was you two against the world, that was okay because he was the only person you wanted on your team. Not only will you create a world together, but, if your like my husband and me, you already have your own little world that you live in and as long as he’s there and your there then nothing else matters. 

Yes, there are times that you forget the vows that you said or the first butterflies he gave you, but push through the day to day grind and you’ll realize that underneath the bills, the sex, the job search, the family drama…all that matters is having those few hours at the end of the day where you can both bitch about how the couple on HGTV just needs to get over the paint color on the walls and buy the freaking house. (I know we’re not the only ones doing that)

I often find myself thinking “Ughh if Taylor and I could just be at the beach together right now then life would be perfect.” Or…”Take me back to the Pacific Northwest and that perfect vacation where the only thing we worried about was the ipod playlist.” Then I realize that it’s not like I wish for those things because those are the only times we’re happy together, it’s just because those are the times where we have nothing to do but be together. Whether I’m on a beach or on our couch, I’m just happiest when I’m with him. I think that’s what Mindy was trying to convey as her hope for marriage.

The second time she got me bawling was with this:

“Married people, it’s up to you. It’s entirely on your shoulders to keep this sinking institution afloat. It’s a stately old ship, and a lot of people, like me want to get on board. Please be psyched, and convey that psychedness to us. And always remember: so many, many people are envious of what you have. You’re the star at the end of the Shakespearean play, wearing the wreath of flower in your hair. The rest of us are just the little side characters.”

She’s right. I can’t believe how blessed I am to have found my soulmate so early in life, or at all. I take her challenge to help save this somewhat sinking ship that is marriage. I chose to do life with this one person and enter into an institution that I myself have been skeptical of. Marriage can be scary, hell it fails 50% of the time, and believe me coming from someone who’s parents divorced after 29 years together, yeah seeing something like that can jade you on the idea of marriage. I never want to think of it as giving something up. I just think of it as having your best friend by your side for the rest of your life, because the alternative to that, to me, is just unacceptable. 

So the next time your going to the bathroom and you reach over to the toilet paper and you realize that once again, he didn’t refill it after his last shoo-shoo…don’t freak out. We need to learn to rejoice more in our marriages. Or in the words of Mindy, “convey the psychedness” that we feel. It’s a good day when we know someone will forever have our back…and they know they have someone who will always replace the toilet paper. I’m pretty sure that is, after all, what marriage is all about. 

My handsome husband on our wedding day. We got this marriage thing babe. After all, Mindy's cheering for us. 

A recommendation and a promise.

I recently read a book where the lead lady had an accident and experienced memory loss. When she came-to she had no recollection of the past ten years. Remodeling her fixer-upper, getting into great shape, the birth of her three children…none of these things rang a bell.

Throughout the book, though, she comes to realize that almost all of her relationships that she truly valued have completely changed. Her once friendly neighbor now snubbed her by their rose bushes. Her best childhood friend was merely an acquaintance—someone she sent a Christmas card to. Her sister was cold and distant and had very little knowledge of her current life happenings. The love of her life, her husband, was separated from her and couldn’t look at her without disgust. She couldn’t figure out how it happened. How all things that were important a decade ago were completely tarnished. Long story short: while being in her 10-year-ago mindset, she is able to set things right (or at least better) with her neighbor, her sister, and even her husband. The book makes you think. 

On one hand, it makes the phrase “forgive and forget” ring very true. You realize that if someone really had the ability to forgive and forget then we would all be much happier with our lives. That little snarky comments and grudges will build up and ruin relationships if you let them. We get so caught up in day to day drama that we let it rule our minds and sometimes our hearts. I am very guilty of this. I can let one little comment or look or dig completely ruin my mood. I can let a moody, miserable patient totally change my day. I hate it. People should not be able to have that much effect on each other, but they do. Why? Because at the end of the day, we all just want to be liked. 

But i digress, after reading this book you make one of those promises to yourself. Those promises you make after you watch a good movie or hear a song that makes you cry. Where you promise you’ll put effort into your relationships so they don’t fall apart, and you won’t sweat the small stuff. Ya know, you’ll really live life to the fullest, whatever the hell that means. So here’s to one of those promises, I hope it’s not an empty one. I would hate to have to lose my memory to remember how good I have it. 

Read the book, it's a keeper.

Multitasking overload.

The other day I was driving home from work and it took everything I had to not check instagram on my phone. It’s like a reaction. Get in car. Turn on engine. Buckle seat belt. Start driving. Check phone. What the hell is wrong with me? 

Actually, I think it’s safe to say, what the hell is wrong with us? Because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has this problem. I like to think of it as a multitasking problem. 

When is the last time you watched a movie at home and actually watched the whole movie without your attention wandering. Wandering to your phone. Wandering to your computer. The other night I was watching a movie (one I hadn’t seen before mind you), and I was also texting on my phone, looking at instagram on my iPad, and scrolling through pinterest on my laptop. I mean… what is that? The day that I can make it home from work without viewing some type of social media is a rare day indeed, and my commute is only four minutes. 

So is there a bigger picture here? Probably. Do I really want to spend time dwelling and diving and ranting and raving about how we as a society have issues and we need to do more of that living in the moment stuff rather than making sure we get a picture of the in the moment stuff? Not really. I’m guilty of it and I’m use to it and I really don’t care how distracted by social media people are, it’s none of my business. 

However, I am going to make a conscious effort, consider it a mid-year resolution, to limit the multitasking. Will it kill me to wait five minutes to see what pointless pictures my acquaintances are uploading? Nope. Heck it’ll even give me something to look at when I’m safe at home on the toilet and not behind the wheel. No more taking a thousand pictures of my hike to only post one. That one will suffice altogether. Limit the phones during dinner, unless your checking IMDB for a movie reference, that shit can wait. And couple selfies? Well, I can’t promise anything with that. 

So no extreme changes. I embrace social media and accept it as part of our culture, but I have to remember that it can wait. Live life, don’t just post it. 

Biffle.

I’ve always been drawn to this less than philosophical quote: 

"Friendship is so weird, you just pick a human you've met, and you're like, yup I like this one, and you just do stuff with them."

Obviously, it’s more than that, but I’m pretty sure that concept is where every great friendship starts. That’s definitely where my biffle and I started about ten years ago. 

What’s a biffle you ask? Synonyms include: best friend, bestie, BFF, bests for the rests, etc.

I don’t think I realized the true value of a best friend until I moved to Indiana. Once you are in a place where you are without the comfort of your normal surroundings, you ache for the person who will make you feel completely at home. Of course my husband will always be home to me, but my best friend offers comforts that are unlike any other. I’m sure all married women out there would agree when I say that a girl can have two soul mates in life: her husband, and her best friend. 

This past weekend was spent with my other girly half. We indulged in wine, gossip, shopping and of course, Carrie Bradshaw. We stayed up way too late and slept in… and realized how much those two terms have changed since our teenage days. We rehashed the past and planned for our future, basically counting down the years when we can reside in the same city again. And after spending a short 3 days with her, I feel more like myself.

True friendship is a rare thing, especially for someone like me who really just doesn’t like most people in general. I’m lucky to say my best friend has the ability to selflessly share in my joys. She is truly happy for me when the stars line up and life throws me blessings. On the flip side, when I’m hurting, she is hurting. If one of us is going through a rough patch, then we’re both fighting sleepless nights. We are connected, our hearts intertwined.

So after having an amazing weekend, I thought it was time to put my appreciation into a few, simple words, Lord knows we don’t do that enough...

Thank you for being my person. For scratching my back (and head and arms). For telling        me when a bikini is way too small or when it makes my ass look great. For making me laugh. For laughing at me. For treating my dogs as your own (one day we’ll insert kids there). For listening to me bitch about life. For letting me be a bitch in general. For giving me perspective. For giving me hope. For being you. For letting me be me. 

I can’t thank you enough. 

I love you biffle. See ya soon. 

Sara's back, back, back. Back again.

     Remember MySpace? Yeah, I've been trying to forget that time period in my adolescence also, but despite all the glitter graphics and top 8 madness, MySpace did have one very redeeming quality: blog writing. I haven't written an online blog since the oh so life-changing shift from MySpace to Facebook and I can honestly say, I've missed it dearly. Not quite sure why it took me so long to get back in the groove of writing, but with a shiny new keyboard at my fingertips, I have no more excuses.
      This blog will basically be a personal journal that I wish to share with the world. You can expect to see bits of food and philosophy, lots of fashion and a little fitness-- all complete with photos galore (selifies included, which I now apologize for in advance). There will be sass and class, puns and prayers... all with the hope that my ramblings will reach someone on some level. 
     If you ever get lost, confused, curious or just plain bored then pop on over, and enjoy a sampling of Sara.